Kay lets be serious. I had failed in everything. Almost everything. How on earth must i stand back ? I dont know why it seems hard while the other previous years, i could stand up by myself and stand confidently. But this year , it seems different.Everything getting harder. Harder than i thought. Im like a baby with no support.
I wish my family were there , but they were nowhere to be seen. I just hoping they could understand , but it seems as though nothing could make us bond. What i could do is pray for the better, & i'll get what i want. In my whole life , the things that i got , is from the perspiration that i made. I thank Allah for everything. Thank Allah for the strong heart i had , for the strong mind set that i had , the strong heart i had. But although i had this, Im lack in building love. Like i said, im lost if i get a bunch of roses. It seems meaningless ; but actually it hidden many secrets. But to bad, i didnt grow with such environment. If you people wanna know ; i grown up to be alone. Grown up in a messy environment where ego is everywhere. Where violent takes charge. Where fights we in my blood stream.
Somehow i dont wanna see does bullshits ; but God let me see those. All i had to do , is open my heart, my eyes and wash my brain. But wait , how am i suppose to do it ? Im from Good, to bad. From bad to worst.
Im sorry i cant be perfect. This is life ; this reality ; this isnt a SWAG. Isnt dope. this sucks. This sucks ; made me became a better woman. But i cant promise ; i must eat time for this. im sorry i cant make you proud. It wasnt on purpose. Im just sorry.
