Sunshine

I thought i wanna make things right ; but it seems that theres nothing i could do . I thought of making this blog bright ; and its seems there nowhere else i could write this into .

Theres somethings which love once dont understand ; couldnt understand ; could not make up ; and could not figure out . Oh yeah ! I almost forgot ; im 15 . What can a 15 year old do right ?

Theres is a reputations ; a positions ; a role which everybody got . Conscious-surrounding ; care-giving ; love and importantly respect towards one another .

They said ; i had no sense of humanity which made human being feels as if ; im the baddest . AND HEY ! Welcome to my silly life . Made a wrong turn ; i cant take it back . Being somebody ; huh .. what can i be ? -.- Their eyes ; said nothing but just the word of pathetically . Searching for my own sunshine ; but nowhere to be found . I made a decision ; but they given me a second thought .

Maybe they dont understand ; maybe they try to understand ; or maybe they refuse to understand . But let me tell the world ; Nobody knows about another party ; but the other party know themselves freaking motherfucking well .

I ; proudly present myself ; a 15 year old "kid" ; CAN MAKE A DECISION ON THEIR OWN ! I hate motherfuckers who would show my path . I hate motherfuckers who plan my path . And the worst part is ; i fucking grannyfreaking motherfuckers HATE when they spit fucktards useless sunshine into my face . Sorry if theres to much vulgarities . But that shows how serious i am and how i HATE when that happens . Maybe for now ; im in an insanity mood-swings ; but im know where i am . Which grave im standing ; and i had pride . I'll show the world ; i can stand with MY LEGS & FEET !

Thankyou for reading this ridiculous post ; Salutations .

I donnoe when

As time past ; I FEEL SOOOOOOOOO ; CHICKEN BACKSIDE -.-

I can die with my eye open . But why ? I still don't understand why . Isnt that enough ?

I just want you to love me ; but you always shouted at me .

You said im a slut ; you said im useless ; you said im a brain'dead ; you said im cheap ; NOW WHATELSE ? Let me say this ; I STILL HAVE A VALUE ! I still havee value .. yes i still haveee ..

I dont know who to talk to ; only by typing i can be express whatever been inside . I dont know whereelse to post ; so i just post here . My wonder world . Where everyone is reading ; everyone know my stories . Sorry ; i just can't take it .

I may be bad ; but i'm a mind thinker . You cant see that right ? Why ? You too buzy with all the motherfucking thing that the world given you . What am i to you ? A cute doll ? A soft toy ? Ohh yeah ; just remember ; YOUR BITCH . Right ? Isnt that what you said ? That so sweet of you (: I'M A FAKE ! READ THAT LINE AGAIN ! I'M A FAKE !

I fake my smile ! I fake my LIFE ! I fake my motherfucking heart ! I'm a fake . I wasn't being happy all along . I wasn't have an awesome life . I wasn't being cheerful behind those doors . I WASNT ! I'm sorry if i said ; i''m stressfree ; i'm sorry when i said my family is awesome - they given me full loads of loves hearts ; i'm sorry if i said i'm the cheerful person ever . I'm sorry to whom i lied to . Its just that ; i'm selfish . I'm jealous ; How can you people get such an loving family . I don't care if i were poor ; i can earn my own money . I don't care if i had to wear such a ridiculous looking shirt . I don't care if you feed me plain rice everyday . I DONT CARE ! I just want you to care about me ; love me ; kiss me goodnight and say that I'm your little awesome princess .

You given high hopes ; fat hopes - but now its ruin . I do it for you ; yes for you . But you didnt seem to care . My expectations had been an destroy intentions . And i'm slowly being lost again .. I thought i found my light ; but i started to realise ; that wasn't the light ..

- Dia tidak memahami aku .

Can't stand it

I THINK I CAN DIE WITH MY EYES OPEN ..

Bullshits ! Just goo awaaay -.-

- Frustrated !

Looking at you

Whenever i look at you ; there seems to be something made me feel pity towards you . Theres thousand pillars i ran ahead ; and now you calling me back . You had been hating me for the whole of my childhood moments . And guess what ; I'm hurt . And the awesome part is ; I move on ! Without thinking about what you done to me .

Theres moment where you spit all the vulgar ; and im in deep salt . I feel like punching you . But then i realise ; you should be respected because im younger .

Now ; you need somebody to help you in your life ; everybody walks away . I pick you up ; and held my hand towards you .

I'm not trying to say that im doing good and you doing bad at me ; but i just want the world to know ; that helping someone who hates you the most , doesnt make any harm impact in your life . But it makes you a better person (:

I waant

I also want her to say I'm her princess too . Can you ? :'( Please ?

- I don't know whats going on ; but i'm desperate . I swear -

Maafkan aku

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwxt3FivPZY

Maafkan aku , bila hasratku keliru .

Sulut ghairah jiwamu .

Ku yang dosakan cinta ; kekasih hatiku .

Sorry if im imperfect . Theres moment i just didnt know what to do .

He

He taught me to be somebody patience . He taught me about loves . He taught me of choosing the right pavements . He taught me about things i shouldnt do even when i'm at the insanity states which nobody dares to touch .

He show me the lights ; he show me the world . He show me the stages . He show me what is treasuring is about .

I'm use to the world called " LOST " ; but he , held out his hand and reach for me and bring me to his world . Whenever i'm with him ; its feels like i forgotten about my world . My untold world . Wheres theres darkness ; bloods and tears . To anyone , he might not be perfect , but to me he is . Although he keeps on saying " No , I'm not ."

I always get mad whenever he tries to show me what guts he got ; but that wasn't my intentions . I didn't did it on purpose . I hate it whenever ; there distractions . Whereby ; somebody trying to break us . Telling that we are not meant to love in such a young age . But these people had to know ; we build it with prides and perseverance and not with emulations which would betray us and abandoned us in the future . They really had to understand ; what does our intentions is ; rather than skip to their hypothesis and make their own conclusions about teenagers now a days .

Yes ; i used to be a girl who always love to play with guys feelings . But i got a reason for it . Nobody did stuff with an untold reasons .

I wasn't in love with what he got in physically only but also mentally . What for if you had a perfect figure but you had the beastly mentally ?

Everyone has their own imperfects ; but with just a little perfections ; made a huge impacts in other person life (:

Muhammad Adib Bin Anhar <3 Thankyou ~

Ps : I'm getting fatter while you getting thinner . NOT FAIR -.-

Althoughh

Although you said i always hurt you ; i .. Farulynne Syafienaz Binte Abdul Rashid ; will show you , that one day , I WILL SUCCEED . I'll make the world for you . If they would leave you in the roadside ; i .. will pick you up . I will feed you . I will care about you . I will kiss you all night . I will change your diapers . And i will give you life .

I may be soft spoken . BUT let me tell you this , i had BIG dreams . I'm not being wild , and frankly , i hate wilds . But you taught me of being one . And you say , i the one who make you like one . How can a 15 year old teach you bloody`shits ?

But its okay . I hate talking bullshits ; those are true . I'll show you . Sorry if i did make you cry ; i didnt meant it . I just cant accept the facts that i had been born this way . I'm sorry . Life had been too challenging . And once a while i feel like running miles away . But you dont understand . But its okay ; i won't lick back my words . I vomit it out ; and i would never take it back and swallow it .